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3 Simple Things You Can Do To Help Your Relationship Today!

November 11th, 2008 · No Comments

Relationships can be tough – and finding good relationship advice can be even harder. Are you looking to find some healing within your relationship? Do you feel like there is a chasm opening up between you and your boyfriend or husband? Well, keep reading, because I can show you what to do.

I can testify to this, because this has worked wonders in my own marriage, and it is advice I got straight from Christian Carter. This is all about breaking down the barriers of ignorance in a relationship – in YOUR relationship – and learning to TRULY connect with your man.

It is very simple – seek to understand and YOU will be understood. I know – it sounds pretty Zen-like, but trust me, it works. This is why…

When you are experiencing problems in your relationship, it is more than likely because you do not understand something he has done, or he does not understand something you have done. The worst part is – half the time, you don’t even know you are misinterpreting something!

This method has been more valuable to me in my relationship with my husband than any other single piece of relationship advice. When you are seeking to understand what your partner is really doing, thinking or feeling, you are opening yourself up to a much broader perspective – which leaves you with many more options and solutions.

When you are putting your perspective onto an action he is doing – what you are doing is judging him and basing all your reactions on your own personal view or bias. But do you really know what happened? Let me tell you distinctly – no, you do not.

I have been married for years, and after hearing Christian Carter’s advice in his Catch Him and Keep Him eBook, I discovered a HUGE misunderstanding in our relationship. We have 3 children, two of them are very young. Whenever one of the children would get hurt – my husband would get IRATE. He would get SO mad, I hated it. I felt like he was mad at me for letting it happen.

The truth was though is that once I talked to him, I learned the real reason. He got mad because he got SCARED. Anger at fear is a typical male reaction, and he never even realized how his anger was hurting me – because he assumed I knew why he was mad. I thought I did, but I was wrong.

So – how do you DO this? I will show you. Here are three simple steps you can take today to begin to understand your man and strengthen your relationship.

First – you need to be in the PRESENT only. You must let go of all the previous hurts and grudges you harbor. Release your expectations of your man and your relationship. You must begin this with a clean slate.

Second, seek to understand the person your man is. You can do this by asking yourself a series of questions. What’s important to him? (i.e., for the man, it may be friends, work, adventure, freedom) What does he like and not like? What does he want from me?

Strive for some insight into what he really IS, and then move onto the feeling stage. This is where you walk a mile or two in his moccasins. Pretend you are him and try to take on his feelings, his opinions and his experiences. You then ask yourself (him) in his shoes when you come to him with a problem.

1- How does this make me feel and react? (If you are asking him for a deeper commitment, does it make him scared, anxious, unsure, happy? Does it make him ask how he will provide for you?)
2- What do I care about most? (Does he wonder about your sex life, babies, problems that are already occurring in your relationship?)
3- What are the pros and cons? (What does he see as the solution, or the advantages and disadvantages to the solution or opportunity?)

What this will do is bring you into the heart of your man and give you a MUCH better viewpoint – you can see HIM and you can see YOU. It will help you maintain objectivity and help you to ask the right questions when he seems to be clamming up.

I got all this from Christian Carter, reading his Catch Him and Keep Him eBook and listening to his programs for relationship advice. If you want more relationship advice, CLICK HERE now!

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