Marital Affairs Have Many Underlying Causes No comments yet
Marital Affairs have many underlying causes, and it pays to stay alert and watch for these things. A marital affair can be so devastating emotionally that many don’t ever recover. Their lives are shattered beyond recovery and they sink into deep depression. It really is a sad thing to see.
A whole gambit of emotions are experienced when marital affairs are found out. Jealousy, shock, disbelief, betrayal, despair, and humiliation are just a few. The sacred trust that was bonded with the sexual act has been compromised, and very few are able to ever fully get it back. It’s a short road down, but a long painful climb to get back up.
The sacredness of the marriage vows creates a bond that is serious. Every precaution should be taken in order to uphold the vows and be faithful to one another. That means you’ll have to be a good listener, and be attentive to your mate’s needs. And likewise your mate will need to listen to your needs and help you with them. It’s a hard thing to keep a marriage going, and you have to be willing to work at it.
Drinking too much has long been a trouble spot for many marriages. It causes people to make bad decisions, and this is especially true in the area of fidelity. A drunk person has a much easier time hopping in the sack with someone new than if they were sober. It’s much to easy to ‘throw caution to the wind’.
The questions begin to arise, about what could have been done differently to avoid this. Is there some attention in a certain area that they needed that I missed, or are they simply bored and tired of this marriage? It’ really difficult to nail down the exact reason for the violation.
It’s a de-valuation of your spouse and their input into the relationship. It makes them feel inadequate, in spite of all the things they put into it. That’s another part of what makes extra marital affairs such a destructive force and makes the divorce rate rise.
The intimacy has been lost between them. It can never be the same again. Only time can seemingly overcome it, but even then it remains a permanent stain between the couple. Many do survive it, some for love, others for the kids, and some even for their careers. But it’s never quite the same afterwards.
Many times one of them in their own way, keeps sending messages that they need something in a certain area, only to have that misread or dismissed continually. This drives a wedge between them, and the intimacy begins to wane, as this problem needs to be corrected for the one who has the need. That’s why openness is so crucial to a successful marriage.
Communication is the strongest weapon in the fight for a successful marriage. By openly and honestly communicating your feelings to each other, you have the information you need to become a giver, and to help your mate with their needs. This should happen on both sides.
Before things end up in an extra marital affair, take a long look at your spouse, and remember all the love and splendor of your earlier times. Don’t forsake the love that’s been given you. It’s not everyone who will love you like that, and plan a life together with you. It’s not to be taken lightly. Be an equal, but never over-power, and never shut off even the slightest communications. Don’t be caught unaware.